ADDICTION
A Help Guide: Addictions
Addiction is a physical and/or psychological need to use a substance, often caused by regular continued use. It is a disease.
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No one choose to be an addict, you just start something thinking addiction will never happen to YOU. You can control it, right? It is the little choices, lots of small choices and slow changes every day that lead you to addiction. We don't know the number of uses' it will take you to become addicted, I am sure if you knew, you would never let it get to that. But that is the thing about addictions, you don't really see it coming.
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You can become addicted to almost anything however the common destructive addictions are substance abuse (drugs), shopping, gambling, smoking food, sex, alcohol, dieting and exercise.
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We all know that trying drugs is a risk however not all addictive behaviours have as many red flags. People usually start using, thinking that they have control and can stop when they want to however this is not always the case and people become addicted. The majority of addicts start using to socialise, cope with issues, relax, escape life or a form of pain. However, this causes more issues and it takes time for an addict to recognise what they are doing.
The key to overcoming addiction, is recognising your need and desire to. The person with the addiction is the person who must want the change and it can take years of being faced with the negative consequences of an addiction before they realise that it is causing significant problems and they need to change their ways. Often they then get a goal in mind, perhaps they want to stop using Ice/Coke/juice but continue to smoke cigarettes, being a partial quit of substances however still an overall major improvement to health and life. This is the contemplation stage. People with eating disorders and addictive behaviours like sex addiction will also recognise their goal of at least a partial change for improvement.
Depending on the substance you may require medical assistance and you should always make a GP your first appointment then your therapist. You cannot do this alone and seek medical advice. Everyone's journey is unique.
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Preparing for change is a process and takes a lot of work which is why it is important to consult and engage with a therapist to help you.
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It is also important that when you have decided to make the change, you remove your substance causing you issues from your home and dispose of it, throw away the drugs, porn, unhealthy foods, unsubscribe from online shopping emails, whatever it is you have issues with.
I am going to reference substance abuse.
Change and maybe a reality check
Heard the saying the truth will set you free? Well, it will. You need to be vulnerable, open and honest in your sessions with yourself and your therapist because you need to work out a lot of things about yourself.
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Be prepared for the what may be discovering unknown causes. You may have to deal with more issues than just your drug use/substance abuse. In order to overcome your addiction, you have to find out what lead you there and it may be past wounds or issues left unresolved.
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The next thing to note that you need a support squad to help you but ultimately this is on you. You must take responsibility of your life and recovery and be fully invested - go all in. You may need to attend rehab and that may be the best thing you ever do.
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Have an open mind to your journey and commit to it acknowledging straight up, there will be some hard days but there will also be many great days and positives about the journey.
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Own the fact that your routines will need to change and prepare for it (keep that open mind). For example, if you abuse the substance of drugs and alcohol, you should no longer socialise with your friends at a bar or club. Life has to change.
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Prepare yourself for change, positive changes.
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Recognise when your substance use has become a problem, get support , investigate options for help, find alternative coping strategies and deal with setbacks and keep going. Understand the disease.
Stages of Addiction
These stages can be represented as a cycle, and it is suggested that people go through these stages in sequence. In reality, people can jump about between stages, go backward and forward, and even be in more than one stage at a time.
Detox/Withdrawal
Face it, you are going to withdraw, it sucks and is a rough experience however unavoidable and if you commit yourself to the process wholeheartedly hopefully this is something you only need to experience once. Before you do this, you need to have seen your doctor, engaged a therapist and booked your appointments and told your family/friends or whoever you live with however you must tell someone who has access to visit you in your home.
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Thankfully the detox process should take 7 -14 days so go into knowing it is short term pain, the hard beginning that will get easier in time. Again, this all depends on what you are addicted to and a you need to consult medical assistance. Do not use another substance to help you overcome your addiction, unless it is under the supervision an guidance of a medical professional. You will need form of therapy to help identify the causes and plan your recovery.
Preventing and Avoiding Relapse
The brain disease of addiction that is not curable, only treatable with abstinence-based behaviour. Stopping, quitting and moving forward from an addictive behaviour takes effort and no one wants to fail or relapse. Yet, relapse is common and overcoming an addiction on first attempt, can be tricky. It is quite possible that you may fail but if that happens, you don't stop trying. It may take a few attempts and some plan shuffling to overcome your addiction.
The most common cause of relapse is cravings and being faced with triggers. This is what I would work on in session with you and will include a worksheet below to get you started on researching and exploring some things yourself. Another cause can be becoming too confident too soon on your level of control. If I take alcohol as an example, after being sober for 3 months you may attend a group dinner and think one glass of wine, won't hurt. However, it likely will and best to avoid being too confident in your ability of introducing trigger exposure too soon, best to be safe than sorry and not indulge at all.
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Understanding triggers and having coping mechanisms in place and reference lists help with managing relapse. You need to work with a therapist and develop recovery plan.
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The most important moment before relapse isn’t the final decision to use a substance. It’s when you expose yourself to triggers. A trigger could be going to a party, a bar, a certain person, or having a glass of wine, whatever a trigger is to you, if avoid triggers you maintain firm control. A trigger can induce your craving and impact your thoughts process. It is important to understand what they are.
If you’re feeling the urge to use, you refer to your recovery plan, your action plan, reference lists all identified during therapy sessions. If you distract yourself for 30 minutes, it’s likely your craving will lessen in intensity. It might not totally disappear, but it will become easier to resist. You take the steps on your plan reach out to those identified on your support list.
Tips
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Don’t become complacent with your sobriety. If you someday consider having “just a glass of wine with dinner”, don’t make the decision lightly. If you’ve struggled with addiction in the past, you are much more likely to develop an addiction again.
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Focus on replacing your free time with new positive activities. If you use to go home after work and drink, you’ll need to make a new plan after work or identify a new evening activity, a gym, a family night or form of physical activity, a group class or sport to feel more accountable. Going home and not having much to do will eventually lead to thinking about having a drink/using.
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The above also relates to weekends. How you previously spent them needs to change, form new routines and experiences.
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Get a support squad and be honest with them. Don’t try to do this alone.
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Remind yourself that cravings will pass. Give it time, the feeling will go away.
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You have to make sacrifices beyond giving up the addictive behaviour/substance. If you previously used during specific activities (for example: going to bars, or spending time with friends), you need to make changes. This might mean not seeing certain people, or attending bars, or making new friends. It may be really hard, but that’s what makes it a sacrifice and a positive move for yourself.
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Have a plan for when things get bad, because at some point, they will. You may loose your job, fight with your family or break up with your partner. Develop a plan to get through these life challenges before they happen.
What if you lapse or relapse?
If you do lapse or relapse, don’t give up. Recognise it, acknowledge it and that you need to take some action to help yourself get back on track. Many people find it helpful to keep track of how long they’ve been sober, but don’t confuse this count with the main goal of living a healthy life. This is when the recovery plan comes into play.
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If you’re at month 8 of sobriety, that’s incredible (good work). However, if you make a mistake and end up back at day 0, know that you are not starting over, you are starting at your new higher place, you gained knowledge, experience, and confidence, you proved you can do this. If it is a one off use, it is a lapse. View it as climbing some stairs, you tripped on your way up but that doesn't mean you allow yourself to fall all the way back down to the bottom. Pick yourself back up and continue on, do not use that mistake as an excuse to fall back into bad habits and routines. Find out what triggered you and work on a new plan for facing that.
Call your counsellor, book in, keep looking up, be proud that's one slip (mistake) in 8 months, that's still an achievement. Keep going.
Do not cope with a slip (lapse) by using other forms of substance, consult your therapist and re-work on your plan. Lapse/Relapse is not a failure, it is expected and it is then time to work out what happened, why you used, what triggered you. Understanding this is crucial in continuing to overcome your addiction.
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When you understand your triggers, you can put things in place to reduce the chance of it occurring. You can then apply what you learned from the first time you quit or cut down to be more successful next time. I have a trigger and lapse worksheet here to help you gather some thoughts. Click here.
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A slip/lapse may feel like the end of the world, but really, it’s an opportunity for growth and reinforcing basic life skills that need more work. Many people emerge from relapse with a fresh scare regarding what they are up against, as well as a deeper commitment to becoming sober.
This can be renewed motivation that can make you stronger.
*General advice and information on the overall process, please if you experience a form of addiction, book an appointment with a GP , myself or alternative mental health expert.
