Your self care is cruical so let's agree;
Not everyone you date will be your next boyfriend.
Not every boyfriend will become your husband.
Your age is not a barrier.
Bad boys are not sexy, just their confidence is.
Lets view a date similar to a job interview. You have found a potential guy for a position in your life but first you need to call them to gauge your interest, then meet them a couple of times to have a conversation, feel the cultural fit and energy to enable you to decide if you want to take them on for a probationary period in your life, called dating.
I am not saying ask 50 questions and be unnatural, I am suggesting you view the process as a meeting with a person that may or may not be compatible for what you are looking for. Importantly, there will be more people to come, some that spark interest and others that won't get a call back. It is part of the process of love and life. Pre-date
🤔 Before you go on a date decide what your genuine intention is and know what it is you want. 🤔Your wants are negotiable, your needs are not. Do you know what you need? ✔️ Let him choose the venue or suggest a few for you to pick from. This will tell a little about them and is effort on their part. ✔️ Plan you're outfit and make sure you feel confident in it. However, we all know the golden rule of date fashion it is legs or boobs and not both. ✔️ Before you go so you are in a postive head space and mood. Take a break to be alone, have a glass of wine, listen to music and enjoy getting ready. 🚩A interested man will show up. If he cancels the first date (last minute), take the time to consider if you want to reschedule the date. During the date
✔️ Communicate intention. My main point here is do not say "I am open to anything just go with flow" if you are in fact not open to casual commitment and are looking for something more meaningful and committed. ✔️ Real is relatable, be honest about your interests and who you are, what you like. If you feel nervous and therefore not speaking or speaking too much, or laughing, tell them. It shows vulnerability and honesty and suggests you may need more time to feel comfortable.
🤔 Think about if you like them. Don't focus on if they like you, do you even like them , are you interested? 🤔 Is there chemistry? 🤔 Could you be friends with this person, meaning do you enjoy their company and conversation? 🚩 Put your phone in your bag and leave it there. You can insta your food next time, with the girls.
🚩 If the feeling is they aren't interested or at mutual feelings to you,don't persue it.
If they slid into your DM's or swiped right (meaning if you met online) Catfishing is real. Speak to them then ask for a video call, verify they are who they say they are! It is 2020 literally the year of video calling. It is definitely okay to expect this. ⚠️ Don't want to video? Ask them to send a selfie doing something specific such as stand in front of fridge and hold up my name and a piece of paper and take a selfie. It is not crazy, a real guy will happily oblige even if he laughs with you about it, you cutie! ⚠️ Safety first ladies. Please don't have them pick you up from your house. Give your besty their number and photo (screenshot), let someone know where you are going. Better yet, share your GPS location for the night.
Dating is really fun. Trying new restaurants and activies with different people gives you experienes and creates some good stories. There will be some bad dates, just shrug those ones off as practice and if it is really bad, respectfully excuse yourself. Treat yourself as a Queen you are and stick to your standards. You are the prize (he may be too) but your focus is on you!
Every relationship goes through five dating stages. These stages of dating are attraction, reality, commitment, intimacy and engagement. Think about those things. Focus on having fun with the journey and creating memories.
Be a lover, give love, choose love, spread positive vibes.
More on this topic coming soon, so stay tuned.
Love is love. Although this blog uses male pronouns, the advice applies to all sexual orientations and gender identities.