Why does everyone speak like entering singlehood is a bad place to be? What is the problem with being single? You're so nice,funny, attractive, good morals - why are you STILL single? People ask this all the time, after I yet again strut into a group dinner solo. Firstly, single status is a choice. I may be single but that doesnt mean I am available, I am comfortable with myself and that confidence you all love about me is my self love!
It is 2020, society doesnt expect us to be married before 30 anymore. More females are working and becoming entrepreneurs (or influencers), we have alot going on. There is plenty of time and if that ticking clock everyone keeps referring to somehow runs out of battery, there is other options out there!
So onto the POSITIVE's about about being single...
♡ There is personal growth in solitude. It is liberating to enjoy your own company.
♡ You see and call your friends often and build strong friendships.
♡ You push personal comfort zones and gain confidence. Your self confidence can peak when you're single. You are forced to step up to all challenges and moments solo and that takes strength. Walking into a crowded room alone shows courage.
♡ You can travel last minute. Be spontaneous.
♡ You can sleep in the middle of bed in total comfort.
♡ Time to really learn who you are and embrace self discovery. What are your values, needs & wants. On the journey there is some life changing light bulb moments such as when you're in a bad mood, you can really only blame yourself, yep, you annoyed yourself. Ahh all those times I blamed my ex, turns out he was right I was just in a mood!
♡ Networking skills . You talk to more people, hear fresh conversations and mingle outside the friends in your comfort zone.
♡ You can do whatever you want without consultation of others and roll with the joys of life.
♡ Mind can rest easy. Being in a partnership takes about alot of mental space and energy. Being single really does give your mind a break to focus on the most important person in your life - yourself.
Breaking news for some people but singles are not always looking for a partner. Singles have lives, just a different path to couples. After being single for a while, you realise how at peace and happy you can be that a man better be pretty special to walk the other path with.
How to be single. Well, there is a few things that you need:
A support network. Friends and friends with a variety of traits you enjoy for different reasons.
An open mind. You don't know everything or everyone, be open to new experiences and people.
A honest friend. One that will tell you what you need to hear. I have one called Dan* who calls me with the stern voice you HAVE to come to the bar with us because you didnt go the last 2 times and honestly thats boring & if you keep doing that you may as well buy 5 cats.
A loving heart towards yourself with a sense of purpose. Set goals for yourself, they dont need to be big. Short term goals that are realistic like try a dance class, study a short course or say hello to the stranger you walk past every day.
A therapist (people in a relationship need this too, we all do).
Activities you genuinely enjoy such as pilates, barre or running/walking.
Some money in an emergency fun kitty. Whenever you feel you are not loving life or get in a funk, splash the cash and go eat out, buy a new top, take a day trip interstate, grab a drink with a friend. Just stash some cash for spontaneous spending.
Self confidence. You gain this from knowing who you are and loving it.
One outfit you feel super sexy in. This is for all the last minute invites you are accepting.
A positive mindset (Again, people in a relationship need this too, we all do).
A healthy lifestyle balance. You need structure, fun, goals, purpose and excercise.
With the above things in hand, you're in a good place! Keep perspective, the average female lives to age 86, lets say you're 32 and you meet your ideal man this year that is 54 years with him! Someone will catch your vibe and you will love theirs, be patient.
Single status is temporary.That's why it is called status, it changes during your journey. Your choices and experiences form your life journey. You don't have to love it all the time but if its a relationship you want, you will end up in one! Until then embrace being beautifully, temporarily, selfishly single! If you feel down about being single think about his - people break up every single day. Your ideal man may be mid argument and on his way to singlehood as you read this! Sit tight.
Love is love, this article may use female/male pronouns however the advice applies to all sexual orientations and gender identities.
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