Any ego takes a little beating when faced with rejection. You can feel a combination of emotions anger, foolishness, sadness, or embarassment.Science has proven we feel emotional pain the same way as physical pain as its the same chemical released in the brain. So it quite literally feels like you took a hit and you did, but to your ego.
What is rejection? Defintion: the act of refusing to accept, use, or believe someone or something and/or the act of not giving someone the love and attention they want and expect. (Cambridge dictionary).
You will likely face rejection at some point and it is out of your control as it is the other persons right of refusal. Think of all the times you have rejected someones offer for a drink or dinner, or when asked for your number, even more so when you have broken up with someone. We have each dished it out at some point and receive it back in return.
But why does it bother us so much? As humans are social beings and need a sense of belonging, we naturally need to be connected to others and feel wanted and valued by others.
Rejection shakes us, it makes us feel unsettled and socially disconnected, which really destabilises our need to belong.
When it comes to love, we take rejection personal and tend to become harshly self critical and identify our percieved personal shortcomings, listing all our faults, bad habits and communication styles and actions that led us to being rejected. It is almost like we make ourselves feel worse after being rejected before we start to bounce back and get on with it.
Building a healthy self esteem can help you handle rejection. When you have a healthy view of yourself, there is a more balanced reaction to certain emotional situtations. Your past life experience mixed with your attachment style, self esteem and emotional intelligence all play a part in how you handle rejection. The main strategy is to boost your self esteem and know your worth. For ways to build your self esteem click here.