When you love someone who is struggling with substance abuse, you can feel helpless, powerless and its a horrible feeling. When someone is struggling with drug and alcohol abuse it really makes their loved ones suffer, especially partners.
Ways you can support a person struggling with addiction:
Decide if you are in this for the long term journey.
Let them know you are there to support them.
Accept the situation and acknowledge you cannot change it yourself.
When they slip up, do not abandon them.
As hard as this is, do not use emotional appeals with them daily. Express your feelings but don’t preach or threaten them.
Do not take any drugs or alcohol with them and encourage the bad habit. For example, do not have a glass of wine with dinner if your partner is struggling with alcohol abuse.
If they use, remove yourself from the situation and environment.
Point out that they can’t get over this alone, they need support by loved ones.
Be consistent with your boundaries, expectations, promises and consequences of actions.
Give physical and verbal encouragement when the addictive person achieve something good or hit a milestone. Celebrate their wins.
Understand their recovery program and routine changes to work within it.
Practice compromise but keep your communication assertive.
Encourage that they seek help. Do not place the entire responsibility of finding help on them. They may need guidance, suggestions, ideas such as you finding counsellors or programs for them to contact. You cannot contact them as they must do this themselves however you can provide them with information.
Set a healthy living example yourself by giving up drugs, alcohol, cigarettes and so on.
Always be supportive but never cover for the person, allow them to fulfil their responsibilities. It is important that they see and deal with the consequences of their actions.
It is challenging and difficult to deal with the daily effects of your partners struggle. You cannot control them but you can influence them. If there is underlying reasons for the substance abuse encourage the person to seek help to address those issues. This may be in the form of a separate program to address underlying issues.
They may emotionally hurt you. It may be hurt by what they have done, what they have said or maybe what they didn't do. They aren't intending to hurt you, they are making poor decisions because they are struggling. However, it isn't all about them, your life must continue and you need to give yourself self love and self care.
What you can do for yourself: 💎 Create a self love and care routine for yourself. Idea here. 💎 Set boundaries around your exposure to their substance abuse. 💎 Educate yourself on the substance they abuse, learn about it. Including understand the relevant the relevant side-effects, signs and symptoms. 💎 Get support for yourself, confide in a therapist or friend, someone who can support you.
💎 Join a support group of other famlies of users. Research some close to you. 💎 Accept the situation is not in your control. (If you choose to stay).
💎 It is important that you have support network and that you are still focusing on your life, goals, wants and your well-being.