Definition: the practice of ending a personal relationship with someone by suddenly and without explanation withdrawing from all communication.
The scenario: You’re talking to someone for a couple of weeks, been on a date and they seem super interested in you and then *boom* he is gone – no call, no message, no likes.
It leaves you questioning what happened. Did you say something? Do something? Miss something? Ghosting really only leaves you with questions and a sense of feeling undervalued, dismissed and just basically feeling shitty.
The reason why: I think it comes down to one basic thing. Men ghost women because of the way society now communicates, in a digital world with dating apps and social media, they are given the perceived idea that they have many options. Additionally, because swipe and like culture has sent us into touch point communication rather than planned and more meaningful calls and meet ups. A social media follow and DM are easy, require little effort and is much less daunting than asking someone for their number. Men think they are surrounding by choice.
If I consider it at a deeper level, I suggest it would come down to a maturity level and ability to communicate with people, a degree of simply being a considerate human but also a person’s attachment style.
Here are some other potential reasons/ideas why people ghost you:
· The chase was over/ thrill was gone – he got what he wanted from you
· It has become socially acceptable to do so - we don’t call out our mate for doing it
· He is emotionally immature
· He friend-zoned you
· He lacks courage to face confrontation and avoids difficult conversations
· He has someone else – he was communicating with you and others and basically, he picked another. That hurts but its also dating life. He found someone else he vibes better with. Not to say he didn’t vibe with you at all.
· Perhaps he decided you want different things
· He is going through something personal you don’t know about
· He didn’t get what you wanted from them and fears rejection
· He is self-focused – he puts his own wants and needs above anything else
· They don’t view it as ghosting if you just met
· Silence is the message - Sometimes ghosting is kinder than saying hey I’m not into you
· He is keeping his options (just not that into you)
· It may have been as you were inconsistent yourself - maybe you have been flaky yourself
If you both fall out of contact, and you don’t text each other, you both adopt the” f#ck it” attitude.
The truth is you will never know why and can only guess. If you are thinking of ghosting someone, please don’t. Here are some suggestions you can SMS instead:
1. Hey, I had a nice time with you but I just don’t feel the spark/ vibe/ connection.
2. Hi, I decided I am not ready for a relationship and want to keep my options open.
3. Thanks for messaging. I’m not interested in going on another date. Take Care.